As this is my first blog on WordPress it should certainly be something brilliant and inspiring; something to make people stand up and take notice. Because this is going to be the one they’ve been waiting for. Other people are going to read this and say: “Wow. That’s what I should have said.” And in a short time a sort of cult will begin to grow up around me and I will be sought after for public speaking engagements and American Express commercials. I will travel extensively and have “hobbies”. I will use my newfound celebrity make heartfelt pleas for the less fortunate and vacation on a private island in the eastern Caribbean.
But then I will begin to feel that I have no privacy. Paparazzi will begin to linger outside my home and the phone will ring incessantly. At the grocery store I will notice that The National Enquirer says I am dating Oprah and David Letterman will talk about my hairstyle in his monologue.
Eventually the pressure will become too much and I will begin to drink. I will spend my days locked inside a darkened house and spend my hours buying trinkets on Ebay. I will watch The History Channel and Star Trek reruns and wonder why I don’t have anything in common with other people. Eventually I will find myself on “Celebrity Rehab” talking about all the things I might have done if only I had written a second rate blog that day.
